The Surprising Benefits of Imaginary Friends (Backed by Child Psychology)

Key Takeaways: Imaginary Friends in Children

Imaginary friends are normal. Between 40–65% of children create an imaginary friend at some point in early childhood.

Most imaginary friends appear between ages 2.5 and 5, especially during toddler and preschool years.

Imaginary friends usually fade by ages 7–8 as social skills and real-world friendships develop.

The psychology of imaginary friends shows they often support:

• Emotional regulation
• Social skill development
• Creativity
• Language growth
• Problem-solving

Having an imaginary friend is not automatically a sign of autism, trauma, or mental illness.

Parents should consider support only if:

• The child seems distressed or fearful
• The imaginary friend replaces all real relationships
• There is confusion between fantasy and reality beyond developmental age
• There are broader developmental concerns

The best way to respond to a child’s imaginary friend is:

• Stay calm
• Gently acknowledge the play
• Use it as insight into your child’s emotions
• Maintain clear family boundaries

In most cases, imaginary friends are a sign of healthy imagination and emotional growth — not something to fear.

“I Just Heard My Child Talking to Someone Who Isn’t There…”

You’re walking past your child’s bedroom.

You hear them whispering.

Laughing.

Arguing.

You pause.

They’re clearly having a conversation — but no one else is there.

Your stomach tightens.

Is this normal? Should I be worried? Is this a sign of something bigger?

If you’ve found yourself Googling “imaginary friends” late at night, you’re not alone.

Many families we support in Vaughan ask this exact question — and almost always, the answer is reassuring.

Let’s walk through what child psychology actually says.

Are Imaginary Friends Normal?

Short answer?

Yes.

Imaginary friends are a common part of early childhood development.

Research suggests that between 40–65% of children create an imaginary companion at some point. Some studies suggest the number may be even higher — especially when you include personified toys and stuffed animals.

What Age Do Imaginary Friends Start?

Most imaginary friends appear between:

• Ages 2.5 and 5
• Peak in preschool years
• Often fade around ages 7–8

Some children have:

• Invisible friends
• Personified toys
• Imaginary animals
• Entire imaginative worlds

All of this falls within typical development.

When Do Imaginary Friends Go Away?

In most cases, they gradually fade as:

• Real-world friendships deepen
• Cognitive development matures
• Social environments expand

The disappearance is usually subtle.

One day you realize… they just haven’t mentioned them in a while.

And that’s okay.

Why Do Children Create Imaginary Friends?

This is where it gets fascinating.

Imaginary friends are not random.

They often serve powerful developmental purposes.

1. Emotional Processing

Children don’t always have the language for their feelings.

An imaginary friend becomes:

• A safe place to project fears
• A way to express anger without consequences
• A companion during stressful transitions

Sometimes when a child says:

“My imaginary friend is scared.”

They may be telling you something about themselves.

2. Practicing Social Skills

Imaginary companions allow children to rehearse:

• Turn-taking
• Conflict resolution
• Perspective-taking
• Empathy

They experiment with different roles:

• Leader
• Caregiver
• Problem-solver

It’s social practice — without social risk.

3. Cognitive and Creative Development

The psychology of imaginary friends shows something surprising:

Children with imaginary companions often demonstrate:

• Advanced storytelling ability
• Stronger narrative thinking
• Flexible problem-solving
• Higher creativity

In many cases, imaginary play reflects strength, not concern.

The 7 Surprising Benefits of Imaginary Friends

Let’s look at the research-backed benefits more closely.

1. Stronger Emotional Regulation

Imaginary friends give children a way to:

• Externalize big feelings
• Explore coping strategies
• Practice calming down

This builds long-term emotional resilience.

2. Greater Empathy

When a child cares for an imaginary friend, they practice:

• Understanding another perspective
• Considering someone else’s needs
• Compassion

That empathy carries into real relationships.

3. Advanced Language Skills

Children often use:

• Complex dialogue
• Narrative structure
• Creative vocabulary

You may notice more elaborate storytelling.

4. Increased Confidence

Imaginary friends can:

• Cheer them on
• Encourage bravery
• Support independence

For shy children, this can be especially helpful.

5. Better Problem-Solving

Children often role-play difficult situations with their imaginary friend first.

They’re rehearsing solutions.

6. Independence

An imaginary companion can:

• Reduce separation anxiety
• Ease bedtime transitions
• Provide comfort in new environments

7. Creativity Boost

Imagination strengthens neural pathways tied to:

• Flexible thinking
• Innovation
• Emotional intelligence

These are long-term strengths.

When Should Parents Worry?

Now let’s address the part that’s probably still sitting in your chest.

While imaginary friends are usually normal, there are times to seek support.

Consider reaching out if:

• Your child seems distressed or fearful of the imaginary friend.
• They cannot distinguish fantasy from reality past early school age.
• The imaginary companion replaces all real-life interaction.
• There are sudden behavioural changes.
• There are broader developmental concerns.

It’s also important to clarify:

Imaginary friends are not the same as hallucinations.

Children with imaginary companions:

• Know they are pretend.
• Can usually acknowledge they’re made up.
• Engage in imaginative play willingly.

If you’re unsure, talking to a child therapist can provide reassurance.

Try This Tonight

2-Minute Connection Exercise

Instead of asking, “Why are you talking to someone who isn’t there?”

Try this:

“If your imaginary friend had a feeling today, what would it be?”

Then pause.

Listen.

This question often opens a gentle doorway into your child’s emotional world — without pressure or shame.

You may learn more in two minutes than in a long lecture.

Imaginary Friends and Autism: Let’s Gently Clear This Up

One of the most common late-night searches we see is:

“Imaginary friend and autism — is this a sign?”

Let’s slow this down.

Having an imaginary friend does not automatically signal autism, trauma, or a mental health condition.

In fact:

• Many neurotypical children have imaginary companions.
• Many autistic children engage in imaginative play.
• Some children with autism may prefer structured or repetitive pretend play — but imagination itself is not a red flag.

What matters more than the imaginary friend is the broader developmental picture.

You might consider further support if you’re noticing:

• Ongoing social communication differences
• Restricted or repetitive behaviours
• Significant sensory sensitivities
• Delayed language development

Imaginary friends alone? Not a diagnostic indicator.

If anything, imaginative play can reflect cognitive flexibility and creativity — strengths we celebrate.

You don’t need to jump to conclusions.

You need context.

Is Having an Imaginary Friend a Sign of Trauma?

Another fear parents carry quietly:

“Did something happen that I don’t know about?”

In most cases, no.

Children often create imaginary companions during:

• Big life transitions
• Starting school
• New siblings
• Moving homes
• Periods of stress

The imaginary friend becomes a coping tool.

It’s not necessarily a trauma signal.

However, if you notice:

• Persistent fear themes
• Aggressive or disturbing play that repeats intensely
• Sudden regression in behaviour
• Nightmares or new separation anxiety

It may be worth exploring further with a child therapist.

The key is not panic.

The key is curiosity.

How Should Parents Respond to an Imaginary Friend?

Your response shapes how safe your child feels about their imagination.

Here’s what works best.

What To Do

1. Play Along — Gently

You don’t have to fully “believe.”

But you can acknowledge.

Instead of: “That’s not real.”

Try: “Oh, your friend wants to join us? Where should they sit?”

This validates your child without reinforcing confusion about reality.

2. Use It as Insight

Imaginary friends often express emotions indirectly.

If the imaginary friend is:

• Scared → Your child may be anxious.
• Angry → Your child may be frustrated.
• Left out → Your child may feel socially unsure.

It’s a window, not a problem.

3. Set Healthy Boundaries

Imagination doesn’t override family rules.

You can say:

“Your friend can stay for dinner, but we still use kind words at the table.”

This keeps reality grounded while respecting play.

What Not To Do

• Don’t mock or tease.
• Don’t shame.
• Don’t panic.
• Don’t force them to “prove” it isn’t real.
• Don’t abruptly forbid imaginative play.

When children feel embarrassed about their imagination, they stop sharing — not necessarily imagining.

Do Only Children Have Imaginary Friends?

No.

While only children may lean into imaginative companionship more frequently, research shows imaginary friends are common across:

• Firstborn children
• Youngest siblings
• Large families
• Socially confident children

It’s not a loneliness diagnosis.

It’s a developmental tool.

Are Imaginary Friends a Sign of Intelligence?

Some research suggests children with imaginary companions often demonstrate:

• Strong narrative skills
• Advanced verbal creativity
• Perspective-taking abilities
• Emotional awareness

That doesn’t mean every child with an imaginary friend is “gifted.”

But imagination and cognitive flexibility do tend to travel together.

When Imaginary Friends Start Causing Conflict

Sometimes the challenge isn’t the imaginary friend — it’s behaviour tied to it.

Examples:

• “My imaginary friend made me do it.”
• Refusing to participate in real-life play.
• Blaming the imaginary companion for rule-breaking.

This is still developmentally common.

Children use imaginary figures to experiment with responsibility.

You can respond calmly:

“I understand your friend made that choice. In our family, you’re still responsible for your actions.”

No lectures. No drama. Just consistency.

How Long Should Imaginary Friends Last?

Most fade by ages 7–8.

If your child is:

• Older than 9–10
• Insisting the imaginary friend is physically real
• Showing distress or confusion

That’s when an evaluation may be helpful.

But again — context matters more than age alone.

Reflection Questions for You

Before jumping to conclusions, pause and ask yourself:

1. Does my child seem happy and emotionally regulated overall?
2. Is this imaginary play flexible and voluntary?
3. Am I reacting from fear — or from observed concern?

Sometimes the work is in calming our own nervous system first.

We know how heavy that uncertainty can feel.

Bringing It All Together

Imaginary friends are often:

• Creative tools
• Emotional rehearsal spaces
• Confidence builders
• Social practice partners

They are rarely something to fear.

And when they are connected to deeper challenges, they are usually just one small piece of a much bigger developmental picture.

If you’re a parent in Vaughan or the surrounding York Region and you’re unsure whether your child’s imaginary friend is part of healthy play or something more, you don’t have to navigate that alone.

At Young Sprouts Therapy, we support families through:

• Child therapy
• Play-based therapy
• Art therapy
• Cognitive-behavioural therapy

Sometimes all you need is reassurance.

Sometimes you need a plan.

Either way, clarity reduces anxiety.

Ready to Find Your Path?

If you’re still wondering, “Is this normal?”

Let’s talk.

Book a free consultation with our Vaughan team. We’ll walk through your concerns together — without alarm, without judgment.

You deserve peace of mind.

FAQ

Are imaginary friends normal? Yes. Imaginary friends are common in early childhood and typically reflect healthy imagination and emotional development.

What age do imaginary friends start? They most often appear between ages 2.5 and 5, especially during preschool years.

When do imaginary friends go away? Most fade naturally by ages 7–8 as social development and real-world friendships expand.

Should I discourage my child’s imaginary friend? No. Instead, acknowledge the play gently while maintaining clear real-world boundaries.